![]() “Safe sex is great sex/ better wear a latex/you don’t want that late text/ that ‘I think I’m late’ text.” – hypocrite Lil Wayne The worst part of Wayne is so many other rappers have followed his crappy style - Twitter. He has four children from four different women - quadfecta. ![]() He had his first child when he was 15 - quince. Remember when Wayne tried to become a rock star? I forgot about that - amnesia. Similes are the one thing Lil Wayne learned in school, rendering him unable to put together an actual sentence. It all makes sense because a Lil Wayne song is a series of similes, and that’s it. His education level is so low because he stopped going to school at 14 years old. Weezy signed to Cash Money Records before his balls dropped. He said, ‘What up, Yeezus?’” – Kanye (I am a God) Only Kanye can take someone like Paul McCartney, put him on a track and not even let him sing.Įverything about Kanye in 2015 is the worst. Hey, at least he’s helping Paul McCartney blow up. The best part is Kanye knows what she is and now refuses to play that song ever. Perhaps Kanye’s most famous song, “Gold Digger,” warns about marrying for money, but of course Kanye went out and married a woman who’s known for being a gold digger. “ Cuz my life is dope, and I do dope shit.”(skip to 5:30 when you follow the link) He says they were showing Kanye edits of the show when his phone rings, and his answer was as typical as ever. He was just on the show to perform with Common. If you were going to make a joke about the name of Kimye’s baby before it was born, “North” would be at the top of that list.ĭave Chappelle tells a story of when Kanye was on his show years ago before he was famous or had even dropped an album. He named his child after a direction on a compass and/or a failed airline company. This dude legitimately thinks he’s a god. Has there ever been a more delusional man in existence? Yeezus’ concept of reality is on par with the likes of Kim Jong Un and the Westboro Baptist Church. “I better find your loving, I better find your heart/I bet if I give all my love, then nothing’s going to tear us apart.” – Sensitive Drake (Find your Love) But all through his most recent album I had no idea what the hell “the 6” was, and I still really don’t. I looked it up and apparently it has something to do with the area codes. I could go on for pages about this dude, but I’ll end it with this: Why is he trying to make Toronto “the 6?” No one gets it or even calls it that. Being from an upper-middle class background, I can’t even imagine his struggle. Maybe it was his late teenage years when he was forced to work on a television show in which he was confined to a wheelchair (but in reality still had full-functioning legs and made a solid amount of money). Oh yeah, and Drake is awfully liberal with the n-word considering he’s a half-white Canadian Jew.īack to singing: You know your songs aren’t rap when the Arctic Monkeys and Florence and the Machine can cover them and make them sound a million times better.ĭrake sounds like he needs a hug all the time. ![]() Wheelchair Jimmy is so soft, he is constantly ranked the softest rapper alive by his peers. He is always talking about girls and how they hurt his feelings or how he’s not the guy he used to be and other BS like that. Aubrey is perpetually stuck in adolescence. ![]() He’s everywhere, lint-rolling his pants at Toronto Raptors games pretending the players care that he’s there in his grey long sleeve shirt, black jeans and untied sneakers. He’s probably taken over as the most popular rapper alive. People like Lil B, Riff Raff, Too $hort, Yung Lean, Flap Jack, Migos - these artists, despite thinking they’re legitimately good, are popular because of their mediocrity. Rap music these days leans on comedic relief rather than artistic value. I can’t listen to a rap song without hearing that echo, and now neither can you. And once you notice it, that song will never be the same. Probably the most entertaining thing ever.Ī big feature of rap songs from the last few years is faint subtext in the background, perfected by 2 Chainz when he says “truuu” or “yeaaaahh” after a line or leading up to a verse. It’s “… something … something … lifestyle.” I honestly wonder where they get the money to begin with. You literally cannot understand one word the guy says. My god, if I have to listen to his mumblings alongside Rich Homie Quan about their “ Lifestyle” anymore, I may have an aneurysm. However, rap music of the past decade or so has been simply terrible.īack to Young Thug. The popular OGs of the genre - Run DMC, Wu-Tang Clan, Grand Master Flash - I’m too young and too white to go down that road.
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